I reflect on the blessings of the week. I think there's a lot of life that needs to be remembered, the big times and the not so big times. I think that every breath that God gives us is a gift, and we should not just let life pass us by...we should live life to the fullest! As I think these things, I think of how I want to live life, but I want to remember it too...that's one of the reasons I journal/blog...memories. I want to remember the big moments...you know...things like the kids' firsts. It used to be that I wanted to remember their first steps, first words, first day of school etc., while I didn't take a picture of every single first of theirs, I've tried to be as present as possible, and do as much documenting as I could. Anyhow, now I find when I mention the kids' firsts it's more along the lines of their first days of high school and college, their first cars, etc., that's what the future now may hold, as we are past the first tooth and first steps phase. I also journal/blog for special times like mine and my husband's anniversaries, family vacations, etc., but I want to remember the simple moments too...things like sitting at home and sharing a simple evening with my family. I may not always get to journal/blog what I want, but I try my best, because when something in life passes us by...after the moment has been lived, we have our memories and our photos of that time. So...with that being said...I'm going to give this a try (at least for awhile), I'm going to try to jot down as much of life's happenings that I can, and take a few (or more) photos along the way, and I'm going to continue on this journey of having this journal/blog!
I'll admit there are times that I wonder if keeping a journal/blog in today's world is even worth my time. I keep moving forward with it though. Because my main reason for doing this is for me to have these memories documented, and also for my husband and kids to have our memories documented. Sometimes I also wonder if my kids will ever even take the time to look at and read what I've poured so much of my time into, and then I think of how I appreciate my own Mom's photographs and scrapbooks (especially now that she is no longer a part of my daily life...memories of her is what I have right now...photographs, scrapbooks, and memories). One day, this may be my kids...appreciating what I am putting together for them...I hope they too will appreciate our life's story.
So...I continue to write...I write about the simplest of things, and the grandest of them all. I write for me, but I also write for them...my husband and kids. And our story continues...
I've been going into work around 30 minutes later each day this week...that's what was on my schedule for me to do, so I did. It gave me a lot of time to sit and think...some much needed time to do so. Yesterday morning as I was carrying laundry over to our building (also called the "little house" by me, because we used to live there while we were building the house that we now live in), and as I was walking back toward our house, I noticed such pretty leaves, and I was happy to be able to wear my boots to work, and enjoy a bit of the Fall weather.
I'm loving the Fall colors and being able to wear boots to work!
What I didn't realize then though (but I realized later in the day yesterday) was that the weather was soon going to turn more like Winter weather, as it started to snow. As it snowed, I honestly thought of my parents' graves. My Mom used to be so bothered that her parents' and my Dad's grave would get covered in snow, and I would sit and explain to her many times that her parents and my Dad was no longer bothered by the cold snowy weather. It still seemed to bother my Mom that snow was on our family's graves. So I sat at work, and I watched out the window as it snowed. While I kept my thoughts to myself, I was thinking of Mom, and how this was the first snowfall that we've really had since she's been gone. The snow at the end of this week may not amount to anything (and then again it may), but I found myself having to remember what I told Mom so many times...she isn't bothered by the cold Winter weather (and neither is Dad). I have to believe that my parents are at peace...I choose to believe that, and it helps bring me at least a little peace!
While I was kinda' bummed with the snow, and my thoughts of my grandparents', and Mom and Dad's graves...while nobody else knew I was "kinda' bummed," God knew, and later in the day yesterday I was able to speak with someone who also was hurting by the death of a loved one, but oh, how their words helped me!
As the day went on, I was able to speak with an old man. This man's wife died about a week ago. As the man told me about his wife's death he cried. I just listened, that's really all I could do. The old man told me that people at his church and people he knew would tell him that they were sorry for his wife's death. He tipped the bill of his hat down over his eyes for a bit, as he sobbed. The man then continued, he said, "But I ask them why they are sorry and they will respond they are sorry for my wife dying." Then the old man told me that he tells those people that yes his wife died, but they shouldn't be sorry, because him and her have been planning this trip for awhile, God just called her to go a little bit ahead of him. The old man continued to cry, and then he told me that he was glad that his wife died before him, because he wouldn't want her to know the kind of pain that he was feeling from the loss of a spouse.
What a wise man this man was. First talking about their trip of a lifetime, and then what a selfless act he was trying to show by not wishing his wife to hurt, even after she died, after the loneliness had set in for this old man, he still was showing his wife love after death. Then to think of his faith...how he talked of his wife's death as a trip that they both planned, and God already called her to use her ticket to get to their destination, the old man was just waiting for God to call him for their trip as well. That's faith!
It is true! Love is a Gift